O my Garsh!

Yer all noed how yer feel the first day of school, well that wuz how I felt going to a spa for thee furst time. My husband Carroll Spence Wilhelm haid to walk me to that ther spa and he tol them all to give me the works.

Talk about a fancy place. First this lady takes me to my locker and tells me to put all my stuff in ther, but they tol me not to bring anytheng, so ther werent nothing to put in ther. I wuz taken into a room with a huge mineral pool. Then to a nuther room with hot and cold pools, and then to anuther, they all called mineral pools (about 5 of em). So they git me a drink of water to stay hidrated or sombin, and i plunge into that ther first pool. After i am in ther for about 30 seconds, this lady calls me name. I follow her into this room with a table and aks me to lie down in it. She tells me she was going to exfoliate me. I ask her what that means, and she says she is going to scrub me down. Now I dont think i is that dirty, because i took a bath last week, but she insists. When thee scrubbin is done, i am set free to go to any pool i want.

I decided to start in the mineral pools. I step into the first one, and low an behold, it says it is a mud pool. jeepers, a mud pool. I wernt so out of place. It was just like at home in the ressie. The next mineral pool i hop into is a seaweed pool. it smelled like seeweed, so ir didn't want to stay ther long. i decided to go to the japanese pools, ther are these nice ladies talking and stuff, when i thot it wer a good idea to get in the cold pool. Thee ladies said it was way to cold for them but i forged on. Dang, it wer no colder than lyman lake, back home, and a whole lot clearer. After about a hour of splashing around, my name is called, and I am told to get my swimming suit off and put on a robe. Now, I werent about to take that ther suit off, but they insisted. I found a little corner in the dressing room, and hurriedly changed sleeve for sleeve, so as not ter bee seen naked.

Seriously, this is how I felt for the first part. It was wonderful, but I felt a little out of place. Then the really wonderful part started when I floated up the stairs to receive my massage. So darlings, this was truly heaven! After a hour massage I went and had my first facial. I thought the massage was going to be the best part, but let me tell you the facial was the best! I don't know what they rubbed on and off my face but it was so relaxing. At one point during the facial, the lady asked me if I wanted her to extract. Not knowing what the heck extracting was, I said, "Sure." This lady puts on gloves and starts picking my zits with some sort of instrument. I can now say that I am zit free. Seriously, I have never had anything like this. I have absolutely the best husband in the world. He set this all up for me and it was a glorious experience.